Looking over the progress you’ve made and seeing the nervous look on your face has me confused. You’ve done nothing but excellent work for me, so why are you sweating?
Ah, I see what it is. You’re a hard worker. Literally you’re a ‘hard’ worker. It’s me that’s intimidating you, not your progress here at the company.
So I’m going to make myself a little more comfortable. I tease you into taking off your clothes and pulling out your ‘hard worker.’ I demand you stroke for me but before you can enjoy yourself, I remind you that it’s inappropriate behavior and grounds for termination. But rather than fire you, I’d rather keep you and your progress on my team… without a raise. Because you see this camera behind me, it captured your whole little stunt. Review completed, you’re dismissed.